The first relationship
Our mother is the first relationship we do (or do not) have. Mixed in a microsecond and cooked for about 9 months, every woman is crafted with a precision of DNA features and emotional predispositions that lay the foundation for the rest of our time. Even before we are born we hear her voice, feel her feelings, and have a pre-set for what the world will be like in the sun. All of this happens before we have words to make sense of it.
Did you have a crib? Did you sleep in a drawer? Did someone sing you to sleep or read you stories? The presence or absence of a woman in your life shows you the world through her eyes. Is she safe? Is she confident? As a child we are taught through patterns some key lessons.
Am I loved/lovable?
Am I safe? Is the world safe?
Where do I fit (or not fit)?
As if that wasn’t high stakes enough—we are taught all of this through emotions, tone, our internal response without words that our brain is slowly learning to use.
It’s easy to consider the opposites of the spectrum—-the devastating abuse to the regulated and calm home. What about the rest of us? We may or may not feel life was abuse and yet most of us have moments that just felt off, maybe something felt wrong or just missing. Where do we fit?
This is one question I answer with absolute confidence. We fit here. We all fit here. This is just the unraveling of our origin story. This is the place we embrace the woman we get to choose to be.
Welcome.
